THE CRAMPS (SPASMODIC DYSMENORRHOEA)-These are very severe, griping, cramping pains in the lower part of your abdomen which start either just before your period or immediately it begins. They can last anything from half a day to five days and they often seem to be one long continuous pain. Many women just have to lie down because they’re in too much pain to do anything else. Some faint; some feel very sick; some actually vomit; some crawl through the day, just enduring. The majority of sufferers are young girls, although I’ve met older sufferers too. The pain can be cured, or at least diminished, by the birth of a first baby although, as many women have already found, this isn’t always so.

Women who’ve had the cramps and then later had a baby will tell you that the cramps and labour pains are very similar. I have met several who said that, of the two, the labour pains were much the easier to bear, especially in the first stages of the birth. At least there’s some point to that pain. You can ride it, and use it, and there’s a baby at the end. One of the real miseries of period pain is that you know you’re going to have to endure it every month —month after month after month. It’s the relentless regularity that wears you down. Fortunately this is the kind of period pain that can be most easily helped by deliberate relaxation.

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My list includes: sunshine, warmth, holidays, reading, writing talking, shopping, buying, browsing, singing, making others laugh.

Remember the song called ‘My Favourite Things’ from The Sound of Music? Raindrops on roses, whiskers on kittens, snowbells and sleigh rides, and warm woollen mittens etc.

Wouldn’t you like to compile a list of your own favourite activities and consider doing at least one of them each day to create your own happiness?

Dr Patch Adams suggests in his remarkable book Gesundheit! Learn to like yourself; cultivate friendships; learn how to play; having fun develops self-esteem; rent funny movies; smell more roses; sing aloud in public; try new ways of living; take time off work if possible; grow some of the food you eat; celebrate and diversify your hobbies; turn off the TV set; use the time to play with your kids; exercise while you watch TV; take better care of yourself; walk more; eat nutritious foods; enjoy nature and the arts; give vent to your curiosity, imagination and creativity; balance your work and fun time; find small ways to bring joy to others; be friendly while waiting in line; smile at strangers; play with the children; learn to give massages; welcome cultural diversity; explore people of other races, colors and creeds; talk about and celebrate your differences; study geography and learn about your world and its people; feel global connectedness; service to others is healing to yourself; volunteer your time for community projects; help where needed in hospices, clinics, hospitals etc; invite new people into your home; become involved in special interest groups; write letters; let your voice be heard; become involved; be part of life.

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However, if you have a loving disposition you will be loved and lovable. First you have to project the attitude you wish to attract. If you are morose and unhappy, no-one is going to bother with you for long. Why not? Because it is very tiring to be close to that type of person. Others can’t change you. Only you have the power to change yourself. If you want things to change in your life, then first you must change.

Write down the good circumstances in your life: how lucky you are to live in a free country; how fortunate you are to have food to eat, a roof over your head and people around you who care if you give them a chance.

We can deliberately thank God (whoever He/She is for you); for the flowers that bloom no matter what; for the animals that love you without reason; for the perfumes that scent the air on a summer night; for elevating books to read and films to see that stimulate the imagination and teach us so much about the world in which we live.

Daily meditation can help put some of these blessings in perspective. Go and gaze at the stars. (If you kink your neck, you’ll have to see me, then one of us will be happy!) See how small your problems can become. Perspective is often the answer to help us realise that difficult circumstances are there to test us.

All of life is a game. Reality is how you play it. Kipling said it so well, ‘If you can handle triumph and disaster, and treat those two imposters just the same.’ Do you let life get you down, or does a setback bring out the fighting spirit in you? Can’t you see someone up there saying ‘testing, just testing!’

‘I’ll do it in spite of, if not because of, them,’ is an attitude to adopt. The alternative is to give up and have a lifetime of rejection. Remember, opportunity is never lost, someone always gets it even if you don’t.

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