• Keep up a healthy diet in old age, ensuring especially that you take vitamin and mineral supplements. As we age our intestines absorb nutrients less efficiently, and because of poor appetites and low exercise levels many old people eat poorly anyway.
• If you have tried all the ‘treatable’ causes of impotence and still have no result, perhaps the problem is ‘in the mind’. The ideal starting point is to discuss the whole subject with your partner, being careful not to apportion blame.
Stop having intercourse. Once the threat of having to perform is removed, many impotent men can erect perfectly well and, with the help of their partner, can get used once more to having full and spontaneous orgasms, by masturbation. By alternately stimulating and not stimulating the penis the partner of such a man can often train him, over a few weeks, to have long-lasting, good-quality erections.
During all this the couple should go back to courtship behaviour with the emphasis on closeness, loving, kissing, mutual pleasuring, massage and so on. When the genitals are brought into play the emphasis can be more on looking and admiration (like children) than on performance. The woman can be of great help by sharing her fantasies and intimate sexuality with the man. This helps him see her as a real woman with earthy needs and appetites and not as an untouchable virgin who is too ‘nice’ to want sex. This works wonders in many such cases. The woman can also help by making a conscious effort not to behave in a ‘motherly’ way that reminds the man of his mother. Few men can function well in this situation because sex with one’s mother (and by extension anyone who behaves in a ‘motherly’ way) is forbidden. On the other hand, quickly switching to sexy underwear and becoming a sex siren can also be intimidating and could appear to the impotent man to be a demand for performance which can set back his progress.
Along with all this the man should re-establish self-masturbation so that he eventually learns that the ‘uncontrollable’ is in fact not so. Sex aids can be useful at this stage. Progress towards intercourse should be slow and controlled, or good gains made over several weeks can be lost in one love-making episode.
• Lastly, give yourself a chance to have an erection. Too many men bring their worries and overactive mind with them into the marriage bed. Give yourself a chance to unwind before sex. At work a man is generally non-sexual and few men can change instantly from this mode into the lover role. Get changed into comfortable clothes, relax, have a small drink. Spend time together just talking or reading something erotic. Get the lead-up to sex right, spending time showering or bathing alone or together, then cuddle and kiss before even trying to have intercourse or produce an erection.
*3/72/5*
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